When I walk into a room the first thing I do is size
everyone up fiscally. You people have scored very
low. Where are the gifts? Have you heard the latest
about politics and religion? Guess what I did last
night. I dipped myself in chum and surfed off of
Shark Bay Beach. It’s like riding a sword through
a tiger storm, my friends. You bet I want to do it
again! And yet part of me feels empty, or like my head
is full of monsters. Oh you people, I forgive
you. In my memory, the cherry blossoms are always
in bloom. You know how it is. You go to a birthday party
for a guy named Kyle. When you get there
nobody knows who Kyle is. You realize Kyle isn’t a
person, but something inside you. He’s what makes
you do the things that make you hate yourself. His
favorite cake is red velvet.